2009 02 27 73397

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my ranting

**I wanted to apologise for my ranting about my granmotherm It was like a drunken scene ar a family dinner and im sorry. I thought let me just erase it thats the beauty of a blog but also you can see the beauty of your anger in that moment to look back on. keep pulling ma.

This world is unfair.

My grandmother is dying. I call her ma. My mother gave her rights over to her when i was 15 and my sister 10. She practically raised us through the hardest years of our life, but she did it. Even though everyone told gher she was crazy for taking us in she didn't give a fuck. So we moved in and I was happy. Of course i missed my private school and my friends there but it wasn't hard to make new ones.
I really loved my grandmother. she did everything for me and now she has to go.
I'm thinking don't be selfish Desiree, let her know its OK to go. when you look at her face you can see shes tired. but for what? for fucking what? She lives her life. Has a Family. Has friends. Has children, and then in the blink of an eye she has to go? I just cant believe that's fair! Its just not fair ma, i love you.

unfair.

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Is there someone wathing over us?

**I really didn't know if I should post this story but I felt I had to because I felt it was significant enough that someone might get something out of it.
I was coming home from Boston this weekend and while at the McDonald's at South Station I looked down and noticed a twenty dollar bill. I looked around and there was a girl rummaging through her wallet and I said Is this yours and she said "thank you I believe that's mine". The worker behind the counter said "that's very honest of you" and I told her it would come back to me. So to make a long story short when I got home I looked in my wallet and was bummed because I only had a few dollars left after our weekend and I didn't know how I would get snacks and juice for my kids for the next few days until I got my check. So I'm looking for change in my bad and crumpled up on the corner, what looked like trash was a twenty dollar bill. I was sooooo relieved. The next day I checked my email and some woman donated to me $5.00 through paypal. It was amazing. I know now that there is something watching us and making sure we are ok.

for the love of a child ill freeze my a$$ off

**I cant believe this. It: about 42 degrees out and I'm sitting on my front deck watching my kids play "zombies" Whatever that entails. they're having a grand ol' time and I'm sitting here freezing my cheeks off so that they can burn off some energy and have a good time. Any suggestions for indoor activities parents?? I can't do this all winter i just cant. TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE i HATE ZOMBIES. We as parents sacrifice sooo much. What do we get again? Mothers day? Fathers day? whoop di do. Oh yeah I forgot everlasting love and affection from these creatures that think you are the best thing in the word, can do everything in the world and just have this look on their face when you do something they think is great that is priceless. Even if it is a priceless look from the face of a pretend zombie. I love you Dom and Sophie even when you are undead.